This moment...

It is this moment.
It is always just a moment. A moment to put that smile on your face. A smile on mine.
When you walk towards me. With a little look of uncertainty. And another look of certainty. It makes me smile. It makes me forget any doubts I may have.
I am done doubting. I dont need to know the beginning or end anymore.

It is this. This very moment I need. This very moment I want.
Yesterdays and Tomorrows will sort each other out.
Right now at this very moment... this is it.

We live in fantasies.. and so very happily :)

We dream... we breathe in a world that might be so different from what we imagined yet we can so securely build a fantasy and weave a different secure world right in one nice cosy corner of our heads...

I have one... it isnt different from what is around me but it has loads of optimism :P

This is one of those random posts saying absolutely nothon of substance... I am just writing.. for fun.. just like that...

So what has been happening lately... hmmmm... Well whatever has been happening has been making me smile everyday... new things that I am looking forward to even if they are complicated...

I am having a good time!! :)

This was damn random!! :D

I miss love. And having my own special someone to call at 3 in the morning. I miss miss miss... :)

where are you??
Yes YOU!!
the one who is supposed to love me through all my craziness! The one who will actually stand his ground when he says I will love you like no other and through the most furious storms.
Hurry up and come because I miss you. I dont know you yet but I miss you... I know you will make me calmer and make my impulsive childish heart love again..

I am waiting :)

Happy Valentine's Day :)

Fools like Me by Lisa Loeb...

This one is Dedicated to me and to all who can relate to the words!! :)

everybody go

the party's over

I want to be alone in my head

in my bed tonight

you never showed

you must really love her

you think I don't know

but I do, yeah it's true

I think over is over

I'm right back where I started

(when it comes to wanting you)

I can't have what I wanted

Chorus

but I did, I can

I was, I am

only human, living, dying

just like any fool who ever breathed

if love is blind

if love's a drug

it always is

it always was and

love was surely made for fools like me

I know where I'm going

I'm tripping I'm sliding around

that's ok

at least I'm excited

it wasn't how I planned it

(wasn't how I planned it

feet are where I landed

at least I understand it now)

my feet are where I landed

(feet are staying on the ground)

Chorus

fools like me

fools like meI did, I can

I was, I am

only human, living, dying

just like any fool who ever breathed

maybe it's the sanest thing

or just the sweetest kind of dream

but love was surely made for fools

(Love was surely made for fools)

Love was surely made for fools

(Love was surely made for fools)

Love was surely made for fools like me

Love hurts. Love scars.

I am suddenly better. I am suddenly fine. I am suddenly realising that this is it. The people have been chosen and I have not been picked.

How many posts I wrote about how if he waited and we met again, we would be great.. HOw many posts I wrote about him. Maybe it was unfair for me to ask something like that.
He has a heart too. And the right to let his heart be free. Free of me.

I am happy for him. And his heart. And for all who live in it.

I was worried for myself. Worried that I may never be able to feel again. Feel so loved. But I think I will manage.

Maybe this is what I needed for closure. Maybe I needed him to state it simply that me and him will never be together. Ever again.

He will never whisper in my ears songs of love. He will never wish for me to be with him on nights of rain. His hand will never hold my hand again. Or cradle my head.

I love... I will always... I wish I had never left. I wish that so badly.

But I will be fine. And he will be happy.

I am not going to be writing for a while.
I am blank.
I need some time to finish unfinished business of my own mind.
I need closure.
I need hope that there is something beyond all of this.
I need time. Lots of it.