Tuesday, 27 July 2010

A regret and V...

'If I were a painter, I would paint a memory..'

We get attracted to people for different reasons. It may begin with an attraction to their physical presence or to a particular thought of theirs that hooks you to them, but the real attraction that you feel gets created for reasons not so usual.

So I like V, for his insane curiosity for things around him.. for the impulse that he shows when it comes to travelling.. for his knowledge.. for his way of repeating what I say when he finds it funny.. for that laugh that becomes soundless when he laughs too hard.. for his 'hmmms and rightos'.. for his methodical way of switching channels on TV (first news, then science kinda channels etc etc.. i mean i found that just plain funny!).. for the endless conversations we would have.. for competing on the kind of questions we could ask each other.. for his honesty.. and his smile :)

I like him most importantly for a feeling I cant describe..

But that is not the point.. The point is that life is all about timing and phases. Here both just jumped out of the window.
And for the first time I regret majorly... I know I could have done things differently.. I could have NOT pushed so much... And I wish I could explain that I was just scared... scared that this was like a dream and if I shut my eyes for a moment, it'll crumble... and it did..

I could have done things differently... and if I could rewind, I wouldn't rush you.. I would listen more... feel every moment again...

But that's not possible.. and so I am sorry.. that our last words shared were so strained.. that I made you feel so terrible... that wasn't my intent.. I haven't given up though..

I am waiting.. Sitting on a milestone... on this journey we'd started.. and if ever you decide to pass by this route again and wave... I will wave back and we'll start the journey again from where we'd stopped. Maybe someday the timing and phases could align themselves... :)