I had a really interesting conversation two nights back which led to this thought cross my head which led me to write this post.
I tell every single detail of my life to my best friend and so does she. We have discussed everything under the sun with each other over the years including our respective boyfriends and our relationship issues.
But when I as a best friend pass my comment or judgement, I haven't really heard her boyfriend's version of the story right?
I have just heard her story... of how she feels and what she thinks has been done wrong to her...
But what about what he feels or has to say?
Shouldn't I consider the gravity of the situation and give him the benefit of doubt too and then dish out my advice which honestly may or may not be the ideal advice?
And seriously I don't even think I have the expertise to advice her on her relationship considering I have no clarity when it comes to mine... But yes I can give her my undying support without automatically branding her boyfriend a maniac! Because at the end of the day I don't know her guy as intimately as she does.
And the truth is and what we both have realised is that 'being there for each other' doesn't mean that we just dole out advice without considering the repercussions it might have in the other person's life! Ultimately in the end only the guy and the girl know what is really happening between them.
But I agree that sometimes the Best Friend gives the really needed Reality Check [U better agree Ree!! =)] and are of course the sound boards and the Tissue providers.
(And of course from time to time we too have used the cliched -All-men-are-Pigs dialogue but hey we still Love pork chops don't we!!... sheepish smile )
I know if I were being discussed between two people (one being my boyfriend) I would hope such benefit of doubt is extended towards me too.
"Hey I know I have psychotic tendencies but I have quite some likeable qualities too and the psychoticness really just stops with the boyfriend... I swear ;) "
Anyways... This is for J...
I am her Best Friend and yes, my loyalties lie with her but you are a great guy and I am there for you too! I haven't and wont ever forget how you called up on my loneliest Christmas ever just to keep me company when Ree told you I was sad.
It meant a LOT to me.
Finally as an afterthought I want to add that I am glad that I don't judge people and if ever I have then I am really sorry!!
When I give second chances I feel happy. I feel like I am giving others the breathing space to be themselves and make their share of mistakes.
Someday... when I get over my fear of being judged, I will feel happier and feel the same...
Till then I shall continue to strive to be that carefree person =)
And Ree.. You're still my supercool-Bhindi-stories-listening-Rockstar!! Love you loads!!