Friday, 20 March 2009

I recuperate.

I retreat.

Behind the old smile.

Behind the old memories.

But I am not the old me anymore.

I have changed.

I am different.

I breathe.

I exhale.

And I smile the same.

But I am not the same person anymore.

What A began H ended...

I was trying hard to gain perspective. I was trying hard to move ahead and discover myself. I discovered I am fragile. I connect and I break. I mend the frayed ends only to connect again in a bond I know is weak or burning.

And when I seek you I am not looking for a crutch. I am looking for some familiarity. I am looking for the old me.

I am happy. Indeed I am. I make it a point to count my blessings everyday and yet somewhere I feel empty within. Like something is missing. Some dream unfulfilled. Some wish not heard.

Sw tells me that if we want something real bad then somehow we get it.

Really?

Maybe the want was misleaded. I guess it isnt a thing I wanted but a feeling.

But I smile. That is what I do...

5 comments:

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nikki said...

Maybe you should stop trying too hard? In this process you may have overlooked the small details which were what you wanted?

Raghav said...

as long as it leaves you smiling at the end, its alright.
we are all fragile, hanging by the frayed ends of sanity.
well written as always, thoughtful.

Ms.Me said...

sigh.

It's like I'm reading a chapter of my life.

Hard to believe, but time does heal.

I'm still healing! :)

Aj said...

oh yeah fragile... try rapping yourself in cotton. that must help...

no serious wordz from me...




Lolz...
Aj...