While I was complaining about my life, someone with a complete life, a family, an awesome career passed away.. he passed away in his sleep because of a cardiac arrest and was in his early 40s...
I found out in the morning... the thing is I had met him once and I was completely blown away by the man's charisma and intelligence! He was one of those men in advertising you pray you get a chance to work with... and I was lucky to have been present in the same conference room as him... lucky to have heard him speak...
Ree actually studied under him at IIMC and she is heartbroken... there is a visible void in people who knew him...

My heart goes out to his family... I hope they get through this..

I dont know what to say.. I know that he left an impression in my mind...

For three months now I have tried to make it look like my life is under control.
For three months on a daily second basis I smile, I laugh, make friends, act positive but none of it is true.
My work is amazing. I love it.
I live at home with my mom and dad, and seeing them happy when I do tiny things for them makes me happy.
I live in a city that doesnt seem so claustrophobic anymore.
And yet there is something missing. All the time.
Like this big huge gaping hole in my heart. Even in my mind.

I have always been an optimist and whenever I feel like some particular thing in my life needs to be changed, I change it.
And yet this time I just don't know what it is.

I pray everyday. I seek divine intervention. I have no idea why am I feeling like my life isn't in my control anymore.
Loud music. Meeting people. Constant distractions. None of these are helping.

I would like to leave. Go somewhere else. ALONE. just for a while. I need perspective but the problem is I don't know what the problem is.

Is it the lack of one singular human being in my life that I can love? I doubt it.
I just need to leave. Escape for a while.

I cant smile anymore. My jaw hurts. MY head hurts. I am exhausted.