The trip...

I am going to Goa… Impromptu… Without any rhyme or reason… Without any plans…

I am just packing my bags and leaving… Because I need to… I need to, not get away or runaway, but I need to because I need to travel somewhere… Anywhere.

Even though I have been to Goa before but every trip shows one something new…

And I hope I discover something new about myself…

About the people around me…

I have always loved traveling… some of my earliest memories are of being on a road trip with my parents… For my dad it comes with the job… He’s in the defence and luckily for him both my mom and me love packing our bags and leaving for the next destination… of course at times I have wondered about how I really have no real home or link to my supposed heritage.. I am a Bengali who cant eat fish or talk the language in a refined manner and I don’t like sweets very much… I am more of a Butter chicken and Sizzlers eating person… And no I am not proud of not being able to speak Bengali properly... it is a shame!!

But nevertheless I have loved my childhood for all its craziness and meeting new people.

And since the past few days hearing stories about people exploring old and new destinations I felt oddly restless…

SO I am leaving tonight…

Hopefully when I am back I will have interesting and funny things to share…

Though there is one thing… I could have easily traded Goa for Delhi… I am craving for Roomali roti’s and Kababs… And some things more…

But I didn’t get the sign…

Wish I had received one in time.. I would have come there without thinking twice...

The Umbrella...

I stood behind the tree waiting…
I had carefully placed the ‘umbrella’ on his door…
Our special HUGE umbrella that had kept us dry and close through so many days of rain…

The placing of the umbrella was such that when he opened the door, it would fall right at his feet… After making sure the arrangement was perfect, I had rung the doorbell three times and had run for cover… The tree seemed perfect… So I stood there… waiting… wondering…

And just then the door opened and ‘thump’ went the umbrella at someone’s feet (I couldn’t see who it was yet)

Then the stranger stepped out into the sun holding the umbrella and yes it was him!! He looked around and then at the umbrella he held, with that surprised curious expression I was so used to seeing…

He was reading the note I’d stuck on the front of our shared possession.

“1. Lift the Umbrella over your head.
2. Open the Umbrella while positioned over your head.
3. And don’t worry! It is not a bomb and it wont bite!
- S”

And still with that same expression intact on his face he did as was written…

Voila!!!

Out came lots and lots and lots of pictures… Our pictures... Clicked over the months we were a couple… tumbling down in two’s and three’s all over him!!

For a moment there was a look of utter confusion on his face!
And then he read the second note… stuck right in the middle of the umbrella

“Our love might have faded away….
But why let the memories go the same direction?
Leaving you a few of many... Enjoy! -S”

He smiled.
Nodded his head like he always did when I acted like a child.
Gathered the pictures.
The umbrella.
And went in.

Behind the tree I smiled.
Shrugged like I always did when I wanted to say I cant help being this way.
Gathered my life.
My still existent love.
And walked away.

For light sleepers and lost pictures...

oh ya... n just now... rite this moment.. I ruined it... I just came between a man and his sleep! Yes! U all heard it rite and can now take a collective gasp... Nod your heads and exclaim in unison that the deal just went sour!

Cant believe you are such a light sleeper... and wake up because your sms tone went off..
I am sorry... How am I to know you'd wake up!!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Can I make this anymore messy?

Ok.. I am taking a deep breath and slowly backing away... one step at a time... calm down...

I just lost a picture... A very important memory.. I hate it when that happens.. there are a couple of things that I hold extremely close to my heart... One of those are pictures.. I love clicking them... I love keeping them...
To me they are moments I have carefully trapped in time... These are images I revisit which help me reconnect to all I've loved and lost and regained sometimes...

I want that picture back.. I want that memory back... I want the emotions linked to that picture back... I want that moment back...

I am sad.
Just suddenly... I feel like I've lost something more than a picture...

Two wacky Negatives!

There is this one thing I've believed in so much? why dont you? (yes you... I am talking to you)
This belief wont leave me alone...

So why wont you believe in it too... only for a moment if you please... And I promise I will change this moment into a lifetime...

I will make those dreams, dreamt under the influence of Carlsberg and hot Delhi afternoons, come true...

Just hang on... a lil while more...

Better to be 'un'stable together than be 'un'stable alone dont you think? =)

And havent you heard two wacky negatives make one heck of a positive!
I am telling you... =)

Sleepless in my Sleep...

This is a poem I'd written long time ago... and had also posted it on my old blog.. it has two versions.. this is one of them.. =)

Sleepless in my sleep

Night keeps trudging along

Day doesn’t usher in a new song

Dreamless in my dreams

Too hard when they shatter

Too many pieces to gather

Aimless in my aims

The bridge to wide to cross

Too many coins to toss

Lifeless in my life?

No doubt as no chances ever taken

Never mended coz never broken.

Best Friends, Boyfriends, And the Best Friends take on the Boyfriend =)

I had a really interesting conversation two nights back which led to this thought cross my head which led me to write this post.

I tell every single detail of my life to my best friend and so does she. We have discussed everything under the sun with each other over the years including our respective boyfriends and our relationship issues.
But when I as a best friend pass my comment or judgement, I haven't really heard her boyfriend's version of the story right?
I have just heard her story... of how she feels and what she thinks has been done wrong to her...
But what about what he feels or has to say?

Shouldn't I consider the gravity of the situation and give him the benefit of doubt too and then dish out my advice which honestly may or may not be the ideal advice?
And seriously I don't even think I have the expertise to advice her on her relationship considering I have no clarity when it comes to mine... But yes I can give her my undying support without automatically branding her boyfriend a maniac! Because at the end of the day I don't know her guy as intimately as she does.

And the truth is and what we both have realised is that 'being there for each other' doesn't mean that we just dole out advice without considering the repercussions it might have in the other person's life! Ultimately in the end only the guy and the girl know what is really happening between them.

But I agree that sometimes the Best Friend gives the really needed Reality Check [U better agree Ree!! =)] and are of course the sound boards and the Tissue providers.
(And of course from time to time we too have used the cliched -All-men-are-Pigs dialogue but hey we still Love pork chops don't we!!... sheepish smile )

I know if I were being discussed between two people (one being my boyfriend) I would hope such benefit of doubt is extended towards me too.
"Hey I know I have psychotic tendencies but I have quite some likeable qualities too and the psychoticness really just stops with the boyfriend... I swear ;) "

Anyways... This is for J...
I am her Best Friend and yes, my loyalties lie with her but you are a great guy and I am there for you too! I haven't and wont ever forget how you called up on my loneliest Christmas ever just to keep me company when Ree told you I was sad.
It meant a LOT to me.
Thank You.

Finally as an afterthought I want to add that I am glad that I don't judge people and if ever I have then I am really sorry!!
When I give second chances I feel happy. I feel like I am giving others the breathing space to be themselves and make their share of mistakes.
Someday... when I get over my fear of being judged, I will feel happier and feel the same...

Till then I shall continue to strive to be that carefree person =)

And Ree.. You're still my supercool-Bhindi-stories-listening-Rockstar!! Love you loads!!