Guess who's back and is planning to be regular :P

from time to time I stop blogging because I start feeling judged.. Or I feel 'crap! Look at what I'm writing!'.. I've decided to stop trying to be the best at this one thing.. Writing.. It's my only way to express.. So I figure it isn't about being great.. It is about me.. :)
It feels great to be back!!

I am not a boy :P

is it funny that I don't know what it feels like to be wooed?? You know! Being wooed... like a girl is by a guy who truly desires her...

Don't get me wrong... I like it that guys get soooo comfortable around me that they start treating me like a guy (even the ones Ive dated... Hasn't anyone ever wondered why is it that each and every ex of mine is a great friend now? :P).. actually who am I kidding! I hate it! I don't want to hear one more boy say 'you're soooo sweet' i mean really?? Is that all? sweet! :P..
When I look at things from a third person's view i think it's not sooo bad.. I met some amazing guys who loved me.. Unfortunately or fortunately they wanted me to be their best friend rather than the gf..

But now I'd really liked to be wooed... I'd like some flowers and like to be treated like a girl... a lil mush and a lil pampering never hurt anyone ;)

Everyday we grow just a little older...
Whether we grow smarter or not is, I believe, a point of view..

I believe I am not growing smarter.. I am just becoming more aware... in some things more rigid..

I love the layers...
The depth...
of you and me...

Things change but we dont..
I love the silent glances
I love the sudden quiet..
I love the songs and the desperate calls..

We have decided to hide..
the need to disappear..
from the ones who care..

Maybe they care too much..

I dont want to erase...
I cant..

I am no clementine..

I am just a moment..
That passed...
We are just a moment..
We hoped that we'd hold it and make time stand still..

But we are mortals as well..

I love that we are flawed..
I love that we have the strength in us to accept that...

I love that I love you... Today and definitely tomorrow..

But I love that I know and so do you..
that we are just a figment of our imagination.. we are creators of perfect situations.. we blind and are blinded..

here's to you and here's to me...
here's to us and our dreams... some fulfilled and some forgotten..

it's the journey moron! not the destination..

I just realized I don't need any happy ending.. actually I don't need any ending at all.. what I desperately need is the thrill of the journey.. the craziness of the ride.. the wishes.. the wants... the drunken promises.. and the sober whacked out arguments on how to change this stubborn world... :).. I want to see... I want to learn.. then unlearn the goddamn jargon... and relearn a completely new funda..

I want to be shocked on the way.. Have my beliefs questioned.. I wnat to see the world through multicolored glasses.. and then I want to break the glasses and see the world again...

I want I want and I need I need the high and the lows of the journey... a journey that never ends...

See this is why I say you don't know me boy.. because if you did you'd see I am standing by your side not in the expectation of where we shall end up but because I need a fellow traveler who wont get motion sickness the moment we hit the road..

the journey won't stop if you change your mind... I shall continue.. find some other traveler eventually.. and even if I don't I shall continue alone... :)

so ... here's the question.. you in or out?

Rachita's happiness is contagious !! I was at her place on Friday night because she had a huge announcement to make and I dont think I'd ever seen her this happy :)
congratulations Rachita!! :)

the closest thing to crazy - katie melua

How can I think I'm standing strong,
Yet feel the air beneath my feet?
How can happiness feel so wrong?
How can misery feel so sweet?
How can you let me watch you sleep,
Then break my dreams the way you do?
How can I have got in so deep?
Why did I fall in love with you?

This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been
Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,
This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,
I was never crazy on my own:
And now I know that there's a link between the two,
Being close to craziness and being close to you.

How can you make me fall apart
Then break my fall with loving lies?
It's so easy to break a heart;
It's so easy to close your eyes.
How can you treat me like a child
Yet like a child I yearn from you?
How can anyone feel so wild?
How can anyone feel so blue?

The last post I put up was in alot of anger.
But when I looked back and thought a lil harder than before I figured that life isnt as bad as I sometimes think.

I am not that wise as yet to believe that everything happens for a reason. I still feel down in the dumps when I come close to feeling heavenly and am pushed back into my dark cloud.. again.
BUt I am trying. I am growing. I am trying to fight back. And fight harder than ever before.

Lots of people dont understand why I make so much effort. They say that something that needs so much effort may just be a lost battle for a lost cause. But who am I to judge that? what if I fight and I win?
I fight this hard and make all this effort because I don't start anything with failure in my head. I believe I can win. I believe I can rise from the ashes. As many times as needed.

It's all faith. nothin else. that is all I have. I have good friends who may not understand my approach but still atnd by me. I appreciate that.

THe year is ending and I am back to square one. I take that in my stride. A new year is coming.. with new dreams... with new energy.. with new hopes.

Life hasnt come full circle yet... life has barely crossed an arc.

And I am happy.. with all the experiences I have had. And for everytime I've cried.
And for every smile I have shared.

Like a true nature's child
We were born
Born to be wild

Sleeping Beauty woke up to discover that she wasn't a beauty afterall...