I recuperate.

I retreat.

Behind the old smile.

Behind the old memories.

But I am not the old me anymore.

I have changed.

I am different.

I breathe.

I exhale.

And I smile the same.

But I am not the same person anymore.

What A began H ended...

I was trying hard to gain perspective. I was trying hard to move ahead and discover myself. I discovered I am fragile. I connect and I break. I mend the frayed ends only to connect again in a bond I know is weak or burning.

And when I seek you I am not looking for a crutch. I am looking for some familiarity. I am looking for the old me.

I am happy. Indeed I am. I make it a point to count my blessings everyday and yet somewhere I feel empty within. Like something is missing. Some dream unfulfilled. Some wish not heard.

Sw tells me that if we want something real bad then somehow we get it.

Really?

Maybe the want was misleaded. I guess it isnt a thing I wanted but a feeling.

But I smile. That is what I do...